Moving on...

Today is the due date of our "would've been" birthmom. (It's also my dad's birthday, so selfishly I hope the baby waits until tomorrow to be born.) I heard from the grandma today that they are, indeed, still waiting. I'm waiting too. This feels like the last chapter in this story. I am waiting to hear that the baby was born, everything went well, and that the adoptive parents have the beautiful bundle in their arms and are ready to start their lives together. Then I feel that I can move on completely...2009 is full of endless possibilities for me and my family. I have learned a lot through this "failed" adoption attempt. First, I've learned that it doesn't make me a failure. I've learned that it is NOT my job to figure out exactly what God is doing in my life. It's not for me to always know the end of the story. I just need to wake up each morning ready to seek God's face and be obedient to whatever He has for me THAT DAY. So, that is what I'm trying to do. We are "back to the drawing board" in the Domestic Adoption program, but I have learned so much through this process so far. I am not the same person I was a few months ago...and that's always a good thing.
So, now I am gathering photos to make a "profile book" for my social worker, to circulate to potential birthmoms. (I've posted a few of them). And, I am working on a "Dear Birthmother" letter...NOT easy. AT ALL. So, that is where we are today. January 12th, 2009. We're moving on....one day at a time.

This blog will soon be returning to silly stories, quotes, and pictures of Lily Lin! hallelujah!

Recap of our Christmas

Our family had a very nice Christmas. We got to "celebrate" several times with different family members, so we prolonged the festivities as much as we could. Lily had a fabulous time - and was very vocal in proclaiming her love for the "holiday season". I have posted MANY pictures, because I have been SO bad about doing that with all that has been going on. Lily lovin' on Uncle Rick, the Saturday before Christmas.

Meeting baby Colton for the first time. Lily LOVED him (she adores babies.)

The new PJ Posse!

Rockin' out on her new "starter drum set". Yeah, she's a rock star for sure!

Opening her new Easy Bake Oven from Papa and Grandma

Our cute, little chefs ready to bake cakes in their new ovens.

Lily REALLY enjoys her new snowflake puzzle. She could tell just by lookin' at it, that it was a great gift!

She also got a "video game" (by Leapster), from Papa and Booma D. It is wonderful! Keeps her busy, and learning for hours!

Miss "Tim" (aka Kim) sent us some Holiday gifts, including these incredibly delicious cupcakes. I'll let you GUESS if Lily enjoyed them!? Thanks again, Kim, your friendship is a TREASURE!

And, that is how we rang in the New Year! We went to my parent's house, played games, and watched the ball drop. Looks like my mom is sayin' "Well, Lily, that's it! Another year behind us, kiddo!"

The last couple weeks were very difficult for me. I grieved quietly, with very few tears...keeping things just below the surface. I tried to be in the moment as much as I could, because I needed to do that for Lily. BUT, it is a new year, and as of yesterday I am feeling alive again. I'm ready to embrace it, and all it has to offer.

I want to thank everyone for your comments, emails, phone calls, prayers, and support. It has meant more to me than you will ever know. I also want to say thank you to my sister, Jody. She has been the greatest gift from God to me. She celebrates with me, grieves with me, listens to me (A LOT), prays for me, loves me unconditionally, and yesterday she brought me the most beautiful pink daisies I've ever seen.

Happy 2009 everyone...it's gonna be a GOOD ONE!