Looking Back. Part Three. Happy Gotcha Day!

The day FINALLY arrived. We met our sweet Lily face to face exactly two years ago today. After waiting, praying, doing homestudies, filling out endless amounts of paperwork, raising money, preparing our home, filling a nursery with clothes, toys, and everything else a child may need, reading books on parenting, reading books on adoption, and traveling 15 hours in a plane...WE BECAME A FAMILY OF THREE!!!!!!!

Thursday, April 7th, 2005 (written before meeting Lily)

Today is Gotcha Day. I can't believe it. There were many times when I wondered if this day would ever arrive and now it is here! It's 2am and I couldn't sleep -- wonder why!? Jay is snoring away. It is funny how very different we are. We're meeting down in the lobby at 5:50am to go to the airport. Our flight for Changsha leaves at 7:55. I'm nervous.

Sunday, April 10th, 2005

OK, where do I begin? I couldn't write anything on "Gotcha Day" after we actually GOT Lily. Too crazy. Today is day 4 with her and it is NOTHING like I had imagined. She is a daddy's girl big-time. She'll only let me hold her if Jay isn't around and she'll scream bloody murder first. It's been rough. I've spent a lot of time crying. I'm legally Lily's mom but it sure doesn't feel like it. I don't think either of us was prepared for how difficult it would be. She cries so loud and so long and we have no idea what to do for her. It is getting better day by day, though. We are figuring out what and when to feed her and when she needs a nap. (she eats and sleeps a lot)! She was up quite a bit last night, so I brought her into bed with me -so I could rub her belly when she cried and she would fall back asleep. She's teething and she has a cold so she's kinda unhappy about that. But, we have seen glimpses of a very sweet, funny, silly baby. She wakes up happy and playful and she loves playing with her spoon -- she bangs it on everything and just laughs!When I watch her sleeping I am in awe. Her beautiful eyes and lashes, button nose and sweet, little lips. She is a beautiful child! We are making it. Some days/moments are better than others. Our hotel room looks like a tornado blew through it. Hey! We're first time parents and we get messy trying to figure this stuff out! I am sleep deprived, homesick, and emotionally drained, but I pray each day it will get better. Jay has been incredible. He's a great husband and an amazing dad. This has been a difficult week, but I AM A MOM!!!!!

So, we had a rough start. It may have been the day I had been looking forward to with anticipation for years, but not so for Lily. She had been taken from the only world she had ever known that day and placed in the arms of total strangers. It was going to take some time for her...

Skip ahead.

Friday, April 7th, 2006

Exactly one year ago today we laid eyes on Lily Lin for the very first time. It has been an amazing journey so far with ups and downs that come with having a child --adopted OR biological. The year has flown by and of all the feelings that I have today the one that stands out the most is...blessed. I feel God loves me a lot to have had such an incredibly special plan for my life. Lily is my beautiful angel from heaven and she has shown me how to truly love. Unselfishly and unconditionally. I hope she always celebrates "Gotcha Day" with joy and thanksgiving with us and I pray she feels as blessed as we do. She has a family that loves her so very much.

Skip, skip ahead.

Saturday, April 7th, 2007

I've been a momma for two years! Wow. Life just keeps gettin' sweeter. This child of mine who started off as a stranger has become such a part of me. I loved her instantly, but I didn't KNOW her. That took time. Now, I love how we make each other laugh, and how sometimes I am the only one who can interpret what she is saying. I love how sometimes momma is the only one who can read her books to her the right way or sing a song with her. I love her incredible sense of humor and her ability to memorize an amazing amount of information. I love how she sings worship songs, and will get lost in an entertaining video. I love watching her sleep and also love hearing her call out for me when she wakes up. I love the way she smells after a bath, and how she wants me to sing "Rockabye baby" to her while she is still wrapped in her towel. I love the way her soft little body feels all snuggled up to mine. I love the sweet and quiet quality to her voice and how SMART she is. I love how she says "I yuv oo Mama" and how she says we're best friends. I love watching her climb and jump and dance around like a "badaweena". I love watching her laugh and play with her daddy, her cousins, aunts, uncles, grandpas, grandmas, and all of the friends she has made over the past two years. I love how excited she gets when I give her a piece of candy or chocolate and how she will quickly say, "Oh, tank oo Mama!" See, I loved her long before I met her, and it got even better when I held her in my arms, but now I get to spend my life getting to know her and finding more and more reasons to love this sweet little girl. And, it's great to have her love me too. Nothin' better!!

Happy Gotcha Day to you, my child. I shall make every day an opportunity to discover yet another thing to love about you, and I shall love you deeply, truly, and always!

* Happy Gotcha Day to all of Lily's sweet friends who also met their families for the first time this day 2 years ago...Chloe, Sophia, Mya, Olivia, Mia, Hannah, Leah, Emily, Anna, and Maggie. XOXO*

Looking Back. Part Two.

So, we endured the flight(s) and made it safely to Beijing on April 5th, 2005. Those first few days were surreal. I was homesick and tired, but I was also embarking on the biggest adventure of my life! We met the other couples in the group and slowly got to know them better. (They were strangers then, and now most of them feel more like family. Forever friends!)

We climbed The Great Wall, watched an amazing Acrobatic Show, visited Tienemen Square and The Forbidden City, shopped at a local Cloisonne Factory, and so much more. All the while, thinking in the back of our minds, this is great but let's go get our babies, shall we?

It is wild to look back at these pictures of us in a foreign land! The very last photos taken of us BEFORE we officially became parents. Of course I wish I had known then what I know now...I would've lived more in the moment and appreciated the beauty and wonder of China without all the stress and craziness going on in my head. But, I DID have the trip of a lifetime and I have only the fondest memories of that precious time in our lives.

To be continued (again)...

Looking Back. Part One.

It really is hard for me to believe that on Saturday we will be celebrating another "Gotcha Day". Two years as a family of three! So, I thought I would reflect just a bit this week. These are Lily's referral pictures... shown to us on February 1st, 2005...the first time we ever laid eyes on the daughter we already fully loved. What a strange moment that was. I remember just sitting there, almost dumbfounded. It was altogether too much for me to get my small brain around...luckily God had been preparing my heart for quite some time. It was the most exciting moment I had EVER experienced, and I remember wanting to come out of my skin. I couldn't wait to make 100's of copies (which I did immediately) and I handed them out to absolutely anyone who would accept.

I also remember that after the "high" wore off, I became quite agitated and impatient. Waiting to go and get her became painful on a new level. Weeks passed with no word on when we would be traveling and I started to come undone. I would cry myself to sleep just thinking about my sweet baby. My arms ached so badly to hold her. I would go sit in her nursery, put on her lullabye CD and sob, and then I would just pray. Pray that God would hold her until I could.

I remember one day it got so bad, I didn't know what to do with all of the overwhelming sadness, so I went to my journal and began to write:

Wednesday, March 9th, 2005

We've had Lily's picture for over 5 weeks now and we still have no idea when we get to go and get her, except it's looking like it will be NEXT month. Looking at her picture rips my heart out. I am struggling to stay positive and hopeful, but I know I should. God IS in control!

Fast forward to Saturday, March 19th, 2005

We finally got the call we have been waiting for! Kathy called on Wednesday at 11:45 am. I had been fervently praying that morning, crying out to God in desperation. I said, "Lord, I need some news and I need it TODAY!" and Hallelujah! He heard my cry! We leave for China on Sunday, April 3rd -- 2 weeks from tomorrow. It is really happening. I spent the whole day getting our home more "Lily ready". I can't believe that in less than three weeks I'll see her face to face and I'll get to hold her! We are so happy and excited -- Everyone is!!!!

To be continued...

Stuff I wanted to post LAST week!

Jay's parents ( Papa D and Booma D) came for a visit last Sunday and Lily was in HEAVEN!!! They brought steak, potatoes, fruit,and homemade bread for lunch and we all chowed as if it was our last meal. (Well, Lily and I did anyway!)

They came bearing gifts, too. They had recently returned from a vacation in St. Marten and brought back a cute necklace and sundress for Lil. Well, the "sunbwess" was a definite HIT. She wanted to wear it immediately and would NOT take it off. She wanted to wear it out the next day as well. Thank God it was warm enough to let her. So, off she went in her beautiful white sundress...riding her bike, climbing trees, blowing bubbles (of course), and basically running around like a monkey...Oh well, I've got bleach and I'm not afraid to use it.

I've mentioned before how blessed Lil is in the grandparents department, and I so enjoy watching the way she absolutely lights up whenever they are around. What a sweet and priceless relationship they all have. Lily "yuvs" her Papa D and Booma D, and her Papa and Bweema...(and so do I)!

What do you think?

Well, my sweet friend Verna AKA the Blog Fairy has re-done my blog again. The crayons were never a perfect fit for my taste, although I found them very bright and fun.
We decided on a bubble theme, and with very little assistance from moi she came up with my blog's new look.
I am so completely impressed. I love it sooooooo much.
What do you all think? Do you love it too? Do ya? Do ya?

Thank you sweet Verna!!!!! You da bomb!

Spring Cleaning!

Hey mom! There sure are a lot of buds on our sidewalk! How 'bout I get a broom and clean this mess up for you!?

Hey, this is FUN! I don't know why you and daddy complain about yardwork. There is nothin' to it. Sweep, sweep, sweep.
Well, actually, my back is starting to hurt a little bit. Man, there sure are a lot of these little buds on the ground. How will I ever sweep them all??? Maybe I'll just sit here and rest a minute.

*These pictures were taken Sunday afternoon BEFORE the playground "incident"...but she is starting to walk again today. Just with a little limp, and she is sooo proud of herself!!!*

OOPS!

Did I say I would be back to happy, healthy posts this week?

Um, I may have lied.

Here is how my evening played out yesterday... I went to work, just like I do every Sunday evening. At about 7pm my boss approached my with an odd look on her face and said, "Lily is OK, but Jay is on line one and, um, she is OK, but he is taking Lily to the emergency room." I began to cry as I made my way to the phone to see what happened to my baby. Apparently there was an incident at the park. It involved one slide, one little girl, and one (large) daddy. I quickly finished up a few things at work and made my way to the hospital. By the time I got there they were just waiting for the results of the x-ray the doc had taken of Lily's knee to see if it was broken or not. My sister was there too -- Jay had called her in kind of a panic, so she met him there to help him through. (Have I mentioned lately how GREAT she is? ) As we waited, Lily gave me the recap of how things went down. As she sat holding her knee, saying "ow" occasionally she told this story: "got a boo-boo. I stuck. daddy be tareful swide. too big."

Anyway, the results came back negative for a tear or break, so it is just a sprain. (Thank you Lord.) They wrapped her knee in an ace bandage and sent us on our way. She slept OK last night, but it is going to be strange having an almost 3 year old who "can't walk". So far I just have her set up on the couch with some snacks, her juice, and her Einsteins video. I am spoiling the crap outta her today...she has already had candy, chocolate, pretzels, and she is currently eating a sucker. Her wish is my command. "Momma HODE you!" OK baby, here I come!

Hubby has already called about 10 times today, the guilt is really eating away at him, poor guy. Accidents happen. She's gonna be just fine, but keep her in your prayers (and Jay too!)

Thank you! And, I promise happy healthy posts ARE coming!