Thursday, April 5, 2007

Looking Back. Part One.


It really is hard for me to believe that on Saturday we will be celebrating another "Gotcha Day". Two years as a family of three! So, I thought I would reflect just a bit this week. These are Lily's referral pictures... shown to us on February 1st, 2005...the first time we ever laid eyes on the daughter we already fully loved. What a strange moment that was. I remember just sitting there, almost dumbfounded. It was altogether too much for me to get my small brain around...luckily God had been preparing my heart for quite some time. It was the most exciting moment I had EVER experienced, and I remember wanting to come out of my skin. I couldn't wait to make 100's of copies (which I did immediately) and I handed them out to absolutely anyone who would accept.

I also remember that after the "high" wore off, I became quite agitated and impatient. Waiting to go and get her became painful on a new level. Weeks passed with no word on when we would be traveling and I started to come undone. I would cry myself to sleep just thinking about my sweet baby. My arms ached so badly to hold her. I would go sit in her nursery, put on her lullabye CD and sob, and then I would just pray. Pray that God would hold her until I could.

I remember one day it got so bad, I didn't know what to do with all of the overwhelming sadness, so I went to my journal and began to write:

Wednesday, March 9th, 2005

We've had Lily's picture for over 5 weeks now and we still have no idea when we get to go and get her, except it's looking like it will be NEXT month. Looking at her picture rips my heart out. I am struggling to stay positive and hopeful, but I know I should. God IS in control!

Fast forward to Saturday, March 19th, 2005

We finally got the call we have been waiting for! Kathy called on Wednesday at 11:45 am. I had been fervently praying that morning, crying out to God in desperation. I said, "Lord, I need some news and I need it TODAY!" and Hallelujah! He heard my cry! We leave for China on Sunday, April 3rd -- 2 weeks from tomorrow. It is really happening. I spent the whole day getting our home more "Lily ready". I can't believe that in less than three weeks I'll see her face to face and I'll get to hold her! We are so happy and excited -- Everyone is!!!!

To be continued...


17 comments:

emmie said...

Beautiful post Nikki! Lily is just a blessing, along with you and Jay who welcomed her into your family!

I love the pics as well. She looks totally different but in some ways totally the same! :) Either way- adorable!

Jane said...

Oh wow, I loved reading this! Especially since we are almost at this point now in our journey, it is great to read how you felt, look forward to the next installment!

C.J. said...

Thanks for sharing this look back. It's so nice to be able to feel someone else's joys.

Lily's referral pictures are so cute!

Stacy said...

Tears ~ You have me in tears.
I am sure that I will have many of the same emotions. I can't imagine it right now. Thanks for sharing your story with us. It helps me remember that this wait may be long, but so worth it.

I can't wait for the next chapter.

Beckyb said...

STOP THIS - I've been crying all week at these "remembering Gotcha Day" posts - can't we all just go back on Saturday and get another?!?!? (With our same group, of course!!!) :)

Doris & Dan said...

Thanks for sharing your story. Congrats on your 2 year anniversary!

It is great to hear different perspectives on the journey we are all on. Esp. from those whose have BTDT.

Keep smilin!

redmaryjanes said...

It's great to hear your story. Thank you for sharing with all of us waiting for the first time.

Jody said...

It seems like Lily has been here forever, but your entry brings back so many memories. Luckily for me I got to be by your side for the photo making and the long awaited phone call. What a wonderful reflection.

Anne Marie said...

OMG...Lily was (and is) such a little pumpkin. Her referral pictures are just scrumptious. Contratulations on two years that I know have been wonderful beyond expectations and description!!

I can't wait for the rest of the story!

a&mg said...

Cute referral pics! Thanks for sharing these great memories.

Beth and Shayna said...

Congrats on your years together as a family of three. What a wonderful post and great pictures. It is so neat to look back and think about the love of your life.

Steffie B. said...

OMW....I've never seen her referral pictures. So many of our girls were in that basket. Thank you so much for sharing!

Lynn said...

What a beautiful little face! Her referral picture is georgeous!

I can only imagine...

Thank you for posting that part of your journey.

Holly said...

Love your blog Nicki. It brough tears to my eyes once again. Yes, you have been blessed by God in so many ways.
Love you,
Holly

GWEN OATSVALL said...

i was right there with ya ... i had to pull over on the side of road one time to just cry ... i just needed her in my arms ....

Kellee said...

Well written article.

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